Fluid title

Do you know how to write hitchhiker?

Is it hitch space hiker?

Should you pop in a dash? Hitch dash hiker?

Or is it better all in one like shampoo or lounge wear? 

Douglas Adams penned a book you see,

It’s title was fluid,

Not that it was water based which would have made a cool title,

Someone asks you what your book is called and you just throw a drink in their face,

That’s what it’s called. 

I mean the spelling was free.

You could choose how you wished to write hitchhiker with a space or a dash, 

And many people went their own way with this most flexible of words,

I mean why care when you realise how clever mice and dolphins are,

But the man himself eventually spoke out,

People were getting silly with the fluidity,

And whilst of course Adams admires silliness,

No one likes incorrect grammar,

So it is decreed that hitchhiker is one full word,

Like Madonna or Supercalafradjalisticexpealladoshus or Brexit. 

British people can’t say three

Let’s count together: one and two,

What’s comes next – I thought I knew,

New research says we have troubles with the next number,

Yes many Britians are experiencing a language blunder,

In stead of pronouncing the H and the T,

Those first two letters plain for all to see,

People have decided to swap it for an F,

When it comes to the ‘TH’ sound we’ve gone a bit deaf,

Apparently all our accents are merging into one,

But personally I think accents are rather fun,

What a shame if we all start sounding the same,

We’d all south like we’re from South East London what a shame,

I mean that’s where I’m from so it wouldn’t trouble me,

But surely a varied accent palate is the key,

I think people can say three with an F if they like,

I will still listen to their counting – they don’t need to take a hike,

I will stick with TH – I like to follow the rules you see,

And for me the most important is the rule of THree!