Honeymoon, bottoms and bugs

Honey, moon sounds like an instruction,

For baring your bottom by way of introduction,

It’s not exactly a great first impression,

So I do … have a confession,

It’s not quite what I did on my honeymoon,

For nudist discussions it’s just too soon,

But we did go to Thailand and lie down a lot,

And I was in a bikini so my bottom was not –

Fully covered at all times,

Who knew I’d wrote a poem about my bottom that rhymes,

Anyway we had an absolutely wonderful trip,

There were lots of alcoholic cocktails to sip,

Sunsets and beaches and dips in the sea,

Sunburn and markets and currys a plenty,

We watched Thai kick boxing which seems a little rough,

They look so young and my gosh they are tough,

Then we saw a rather dangerous fire show,

No one minds if they drop it they just go with the flow,

It’s actually some of the bar staff that performs,

In Thailand there are no health and safety forms,

That same night the biggest bug you’ve ever seen,

Landed in my cocktail and was rather keen,

To finish it off – my mai tai was no more,

That bug will be pissed, rolling around on the floor,

It’s also owes me £2.50 which is 100 baht,

But I didn’t get to tell it before we had to depart,

So all in all a successful holiday,

And now I’m suing a bug to make him pay.

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