No vegan money here


So if you are vegan you can’t eat meat,

You can’t even have cheese and biscuits as a treat,

But now you also can’t spend any cash,

You’ll have to bring your credit card to the next Christmas bash,

You see our new £5 notes contain tallow which is animal fat,

I know right, fancy that!

No matter your preference you shouldn’t be eating money,

Not only would it give you a dodgey tummy,

It’d be one expensive meal,

A bowl full of fivers is no Boots meal deal,

But vegans are against using animals and their produce full stop,

You can even buy vegan shoes at the shop,

The Bank of England are taking the fatty discovery seriously,

It might have entered the ingredients mysteriously,

Apparently issue has only just come to light,

But surely you’d check the ingredients list was alright,

Before you print loadsa money like thousands and billions,

And then piss people off in their millions,

Tallow is essentially grease,

So just remove it to keep the peace,

We don’t want your greasy animal fat notes,

I want one that’s lactose free and rolled in oats. 

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3 thoughts on “No vegan money here

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