I’ve been off the radio for two weeks,
And what do I hear from top chocolate geeks?
That chocolate companies are reducing their bar and bag sizes,
Due to Brexit and the ingredients price rises,
What awful news especially at the time,
When chocolate guzzling is at its prime,
How will I put on all my Christmas weight,
What will propel the January self-hate,
Maltesers are now lighter and they are already filled with air,
Or is that just their marketing flair?
I have never been able to blow one in the air like they do in the ad,
But maybe it’s just my lung capacity that’s bad,
But worse of all is what’s happened to the Toblerone,
As opinions on social media have shown,
Instead of making the bar smaller in length,
They’ve spaced out the triangles and it’s not to its strength,
Don’t we all know that it’s not length it’s girth,
That brings the most pleasure and sugar fuelled mirth,
Those delicious pyramids are too far apart,
It’s about satisfaction not modernist art,
Maybe they wanted to be true to life and did not intent to hurt,
Afterall pyramids are of course surrounded by desert.