Being A Woman Exam 2013

Pens at the ready…

1. Epilating is a pain like no other. Discuss…

2. Which get fit class should you attend to show that you are healthy yet edgy and spiritual? a) yoga b) tai chi c) pole dancing

3. How many selfies should you take before selecting your Facebook profile photo?

4. How can you make a selfie look like someone else has taken it so you don’t look self obsessed on social media?

5. If you start your period at 13 and go through the menopause at 51, how many days of your life will you spend bleeding (based on an average 5day period) ?

6. How many photos should your best friend post on Instagram of her new dog before you have a word?

7. How many sponsored charity events do you need to undertake to show that you care about other people?

8. How many times can you ask your friends to sponsor you for charity events before they are no longer your friends?

9. List the unessential items you carry with you on a daily basis “just in case”? You may use extra paper if necessary.

10. Which superfood is essential handbag fodder to show everyone on the tube that you care about your body? a) blueberries b) sunflower seeds c) natural greek yoghurt

Exam invigilator: Samantha Baines
Answers to be written on the back of a reciept

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One thought on “Being A Woman Exam 2013

  1. 1. Epilating is a pain like no other. Discuss…
    Epilation is a method of removing hair. Having never epilated before, I find myself data insufficient and lacking a rounded response. I would like however, to throw period pain in here, particularly that point one gets to when the subject of the pain is like ‘just kill me now or remove my womb. This isn’t worth it. Children are only a little bit cuter than cats and then they grow up and are not longer cute.’

    2. Which get fit class should you attend to show that you are healthy yet edgy and spiritual? a) yoga b) tai chi c) pole dancing

    Tai Chi because fewer people know what it is and that makes it cooler. It should also be pointed out that yoga is so ten years ago and pole dancing so three and a half years ago.

    3. How many selfies should you take before selecting your Facebook profile photo?

    About eight for every profile pic before you’re 21, after that you leave one with your face blurred or obscured by a hand up there for about six months at a time, to show people you DGAF.

    4. How can you make a selfie look like someone else has taken it so you don’t look self obsessed on social media?

    Planned Arm Anglage. Lean the right shoulder back so it’s aligned with your neck and other shoulder, then pop the right arm out and up from the elbow. The phone will be slightly below your faceline, which is a no no, so tilt your chin down and look to the right, mouth slightly open as if you’re unaware the photo is being taken because you’re talking to someone.

    5. If you start your period at 13 and go through the menopause at 51, how many days of your life will you spend bleeding (based on an average 5day period) ?

    2477 (calculated to include first month of year you are 13 and last of year you are 51)

    6. How many photos should your best friend post on Instagram of her new dog before you have a word?

    Ten (overkill) or one (underkill – she might be neglecting it)

    7. How many sponsored charity events do you need to undertake to show that you care about other people?

    Only one, but you need to contribute to twenty.

    If you do more than three, you never need to contribute to anything at all.

    8. How many times can you ask your friends to sponsor you for charity events before they are no longer your friends?

    Twice, over a five year period.

    9. List the unessential items you carry with you on a daily basis “just in case”? You may use extra paper if necessary.

    Chewing gum, coins, boots strawberry lip salve, reading material, three biros, something to write on, extra jumper, bank cards, drivers license, skittles, headphones, heavy computer, alternative reading material.

    10. Which superfood is essential handbag fodder to show everyone on the tube that you care about your body? a) blueberries b) sunflower seeds c) natural greek yoghurt

    Sunflowers seeds, because it’s the most sickeningly healthy and has a 66% chance of making people feel worse than blueberries and a 74% chance of making people feel worse than if you were to eat natural greek yoghurt.*

    *National Bureau of Statistics, True and Important Facts Section

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